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Thread: Favorite AA One Liners

  1. #21
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    Pray for the ones You are having a problem with.
    Hey,I just inserted another "One liner" LOL

  2. #22
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    1. IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH YOU NEVER HAVE TO REMEMBER ANYTHING.
    2. IF YOU LEND SOMEONE $20 AND NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN IT WAS PROBALLY WORTH IT.
    3.GENERALLY SPEAKING YOU ARE NOT LEARNING ANYTHING IF YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING.
    4. Never miss a chance to Shut Up
    5. Experience is something you don't get until after you need it.

  3. #23
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    1. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    2. Remember you are very unique, just like everyone else.
    3. Never test the depth of water with both feet.
    4. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
    5. It's always darkest just before dawn, so if you are going to steal your neighbors paper that will be the best time to do so.
    6. A jouney of a thousand miles always start with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire

  4. #24
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    Heard in Springfield AA tonight;

    If you walked 10 miles into the woods, you'll need to walk 10 miles out. (ie. don't expect to have everything fixed by Tuesday next).

  5. #25
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    First I admitted I was an alcoholic.
    Then I accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic.
    Today I approve of my being an alcoholic.

  6. #26
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    All very good ones Lance.

  7. #27
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    When I first retired,I thought so thinking I would have more time..................................DUHHHHhhhh see below.
    There is NO such thing as more time.:D

  8. #28
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    The AA book,"Living Sober" makes more sense than "Dying Drunk".
    I got that one from a guy in the noon meeting in Wasilla Ak.

  9. #29
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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  10. #30
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  11. #31
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    Okay, this isn't really a "one liner" but I thought it was hilarious!

    I was at the service conference last weekend, and one ole' guy got up there and said "One psychiatrist said I had a 'dual personality'. Well, I KNEW he was lying because I KNOW I have more personalities than that! Sometimes when I get to talking to myself in the car, it sounds like group therapy!"

  12. #32
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freebird View Post
    Okay, this isn't really a "one liner" but I thought it was hilarious!

    I was at the service conference last weekend, and one ole' guy got up there and said "One psychiatrist said I had a 'dual personality'. Well, I KNEW he was lying because I KNOW I have more personalities than that! Sometimes when I get to talking to myself in the car, it sounds like group therapy!"
    Now that makes perfectly good sense to Me.

  13. #33
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    Heard in Children of Chaos today: those who miss meetings, miss drinking.

  14. #34
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    Tonight I went to 4 points for their 6PM meeting where the topic was from the 12X12. Justified anger and resentments.

    One woman after the topic had warmed up some, began to tell us that she used to have a lot of situations where people wronged her and she would be angry. Or sometimes it would last longer before she'd call her sponsor and it would become a resentment. Anyway, she said, she soon noticed that every time she'd call her sponsor with one of these problems, her sponsor would make her do some work. Go chair a meeting. Find a new person to work with. Write an inventory, etc.

    So one day she confronted the sponsor saying: "Why do I always have to do something when I've been wronged?" Then she said she remembered it like it was yesterday because her sponsor was like 2 inches in front of her face saying loudly: "Because your life depends upon it!!"

  15. #35
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    The same woman went on to say that her sponsor had said: "if you are hurt and it's your fault, we know what we can do about it. If it's the other person's fault, you are f---screwed."

  16. #36
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lance B. View Post
    The same woman went on to say that her sponsor had said: "if you are hurt and it's your fault, we know what we can do about it. If it's the other person's fault, you are f---screwed."

  17. #37
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    There have been some more, but of course, I forget them shortly after hearing them unless I have someplace to report. For me it really is true that most of my learning comes from what I write. And I've not been able to get on here or post for a while now.

  18. #38
    and I'm an alcoholic. Jesse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lance B. View Post
    There have been some more, but of course, I forget them shortly after hearing them unless I have someplace to report. For me it really is true that most of my learning comes from what I write. And I've not been able to get on here or post for a while now.
    Is it working better for you now?

    I contacted the hosting company and they assured me that everything is working correctly and the issue is either your computer (need to clear your history/cache/etc.) or the DNS server that you're connecting through. That's all they would tell me. But, I don't see how either situation would be hit and miss. It should not work at all, until it's updated then it should work every time.

    confused.gif
    Sober by the grace of God since Feb. 6, 2010
    Que sera, sera.
    May God bless you and keep you as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny,
    Jesse

  19. #39
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    So here is a few.

    • "No Suffer, No Growth "
    • "The longer I'm sober, the drunker I was."
    • "We can no longer be content with just getting by."
    • "Alcohol gave me wings and then slowly took away my sky."
    Last edited by Scrilla Mac; 09-22-2013 at 07:04 PM.

  20. #40
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scrilla Mac View Post
    So here is a few.

    • "No Suffer, No Growth "
    • "The longer I'm sober, the drunker I was."
    • "We can no longer be content with just getting by."
    • "Alcohol gave me wings and then slowly took away my sky."
    Those are some good ones.

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