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Thread: In About One More Hour, Eighteen Years Ago

  1. #1
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    In About One More Hour, Eighteen Years Ago

    Was when I took My last drink.
    Most miserable time of My life.
    I thank AA for My continuos sobriety since then.

  2. #2
    poster mas voluminous
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    Keep coming back Martin. I don't want you to forget how bad it was then. Or to start becoming discontented with life now. We have to maintain our gratitude and do it with other alcoholics who appreciate the importance to us. Those people who are not alcoholics can get away with being mad at the world without dying from it. We can't. Happy anniversary. Geez, I've been singing it to people in Cody but only one so far in Miles City. No, I guess two. But I surely should have sung to you, my old AA friend.

  3. #3
    Crowd Heckler MrMarty51's Avatar
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    Thank You Lance.
    Your appreciation of us members that are newer to the program is so very much appreciated.
    Something I have noticed, about My sobriety.
    After going through the time of not coming to meetings, sort of like having a "thought" of taking another drink, I instantly retract from that thought, like pulling away from a hot stove or fire, comes a very visual message, of how unmanegeable My life was before being guided into AA. And so it is the same whenever I have a thought of skipping any of My meetings. as a matter of fact, upon having typed this out, I think I should start going to a few more meetings.

  4. #4
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    That was a pretty nice anniversary celebration we had last night. 4 birthdays. 3 months to 27 years. And we don't keep track of them from year to year, so I suspect there were some others who chose not to join us. And again, it looked to me like the We Care Group did the participating. I think you can see how much better we do when we are actively participating, showing up early, acting a little better than we feel, always thinking of the person in the corner and trying to help him be involved, and being at certain meetings consistently. The opener for the noon meeting had volunteered to entertain at the VA home last night and perhaps another anniversary guy would be there also, so that reduced the numbers from Unity Group.

    If we show up next month like we did tonight, we can have that place full. I'll be in Texas . Do you know what I wish I would have done yesterday? I wish I'd gone through that roster of members We Care has and called all who just need a little encouragement or have dropped away. Some of them would not even realize that we changed the meeting day probably. That would give a good opening for a telephone call. Plus who knows what other help we might be able to provide.

    So many of us guys just can't get off the couch or out of our safe routine without making special effort. My Mother seemed to love going places and meeting new people, but I know very few alcoholics who don't have to force themselves to be outgoing like she was. I know I do though I'm pretty good at it now that I imitate her most often. And it is worst when we are feeling "less than". Then many of us just can't face others comfortably--especially not others who will make us feel better; that curious phenomenon where we never want to go, but once we've gone, we are glad we did. It's not just AA where I feel like that. It's any social situation since I am just generally uncomfortable around other people if I don't have a drink in me.

    It does help to know that nearly everyone else in AA has that same feeling.

    I was thinking about your post last night wherein you mention how when people really don't feel like they have something to say and are just filling time in a meeting--how that does not come off as well or do as much good as the guy who is feeling spontaneous and glib. Or has a real message to communicate. When I think about the most successful meetings, it seems to me they are caused by the chairperson providing some sort of a focussing topic. I wonder if, now that the Thursday noon literature meeting is abandoned, it might be profitable to use the literature for topics in Saturday night's meeting. The past chair was going to use LIVING SOBER and I bought enough copies so that we could do that. Unfortunately before those came in, the meeting dropped off in attendance.

    I like the idea of everyone participating at least to the point of saying their name to find out if they are going to speak or squeak. Before anyone more comfortable speaks twice. So I've come to like the routine of going around the room in some order catching everyone. My memory of early days when I really did not want to talk, is of not liking that, but I might never have opened up had I not had to at least open my mouth once each meeting. After everyone has had a chance, then I should be allowed to expand upon my thoughts a bit though I am still impressed at how uninteresting I can become when I speak more than 3 minutes in one lump.

    I also think it is important to pick a topic and stick with it. Often when using literature, I notice that the best speakers pick some one idea or term and talk about that, so they stay focussed on their own. But for the group by the time we have gone around the room once, we are best off to continue on the same topic out to the end of the hour. I am often frustrated in Cody where they are in the habit of speaking once (and doing a great job of it) and when everyone has spoken, they shut the meeting down. I really feel I get my best learning the second time around and I wonder if you don't notice that I'm less effective in my first effort than the second or third. Somehow that magic where everyone just keeps building upon the ideas of the ones who have spoken before makes the very best meetings for me. The spiritual feeling becomes more and more intense for me until I just want to hug everyone in the room and want the very best for each of them. That does not always happen the first time around.

    Of course I need to be careful not to react to strongly to someone who is encouraged to speak for the first time and opens up a little beyond what they have usually been comfortable with. I still do that regularly. Even last night when I told you all that I was sending in my anniversary gift to GSO, I felt uncomfortable that some people might think I was bragging or that I was pressuring them. That's why we older members need to take the risks and let new people see that we are safe and can come along at their own pace. How long has it been since anyone mentioned those birthday contributions? No one has done it for many years around Miles City--at least in the We Care group since GSO always sends out a thank you and I, as treasurer, would have seen them. In their annual birthday celebration, the Recovery Group in Billings and the Pacific Group each mention how many thousands of dollars they send each year in group contributions and also how many birthday contributions from members of the group were acknowledged. You used to be able to see group contributions in the directory, but I don't think they do that any more.

    I have a bunch of old directories here at the house and might look later. Probably need to clean out a bunch of the old AA stuff that no one else would save. But I have so far.

    One more week with my group and you guys. Then to my sponsor's groups in Texas for a month or a bit more. Maybe I'll get back in time for the February anniversary meeting. Oh, and at least two of us are going to Watch East on Friday. Call and make your reservation if you can and want to go with us in one of my vehicles. 232-2333. Lance

  5. #5
    AA is not working for me, but maybe i'm not taking it seriously.
    "There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."

    - Billie Joe Armstrong

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